DEPRESSION

DEPRESSION

It’s a very taboo topic. People often avoid it. Or, they run from it. It’s not a sunshine-and-butterflies topic. It’s reality at its worst. People suffering from it feel hopeless and the people around them feel saddened by their inability to help. But maybe, the best way to help is to try and understand. That’s why I’m writing this.

I once had depression. It was induced by a medication for ADHD. But I knew depression. It didn’t start out too bad. I started doing a little worse in classes. I skipped a few homework assignments. Nothing too big. Then, it got worse. I started feeling like the world was out to get me. Like I was stuck in a rut. Hopeless. I began to have thoughts of cutting myself. Of being elsewhere. Of being dead. It never got to the point where I carried out my actions. I was saved by my father catching on the symptoms. I was taken off the medication immediately and I began to feel better.

People with clinical depression don’t miraculously get “better”. They have ups and downs all the time. Some days are considered “amazing”. Where depression backs off just long enough to allow the victim to feel comfortable. Then it begins to sneak up again. And the person who suffers from it knows just when it will come back. Their world gets darker and darker until they reach a pit of despair. And it keeps happening. It comes in waves, sometimes worse than others.

A main feeling that people get when they are depressed is abandoned. They feel like nobody will care or want to help. Like nobody will understand. Honestly, understanding most likely won’t happen. It’s hard to accept that, but it’s an unfortunate truth. Many people haven’t experienced depression. Those who have often mistake depression for PMS or work stress. It’s a shame that not many people understand.

However, people CAN help. Friends and family of a person suffering from depression shouldn’t act any different. At least, not unless the episode gets bad. If it becomes a problem, try different approaches. I know a guy with minor depression and when it gets him down, I get assertive. I say “stop that right now. You have plenty of people who love you. Are you going to let this hurt you both?” And usually, that’s enough. Of course, his depression barely skims the surface.

Sometimes, help just can’t be given. In some cases, people will go into extreme denial and not ask for help. Occasionally, they even vehemently refuse help. If that happens, give them space. They’ll work through it. However, if they begin talking about being dead or injuring themselves, ask that they seek help as soon as possible. They may refuse. If that happens, just say “ok”. Don’t just walk away though. Leave a note with the suicide hotline number or a number for a psychologist.

If you can’t help, and something happens, don’t blame yourself. You tried. That’s all that matters. Don’t dwell. Hopefully, the person accepts the help.

Don’t stress yourself out over it though. If you still can’t take the emotions, give yourself a small break. Don’t blame the person. Just hope it will get better.

Remember: There’s ALWAYS help when you need it.